for leaders
1.) NO teaching on a social dance floor! If you are talking while you are ‘dancing’, you are not dancing. Also that means, no teaching between songs, or between tandas. Period. There are no exceptions to this (well ok, 1 and only 1, if they’re your student and even then its a major no-no). In short, do not offer feedback while you are dancing with someone!
2.) Asking for a dance ? Use Cabeceo! Really. Here’s what you should NOT do. Do not walk across the dance floor (mistake number 1). Do not walk up to said follower and extend your hand to her (mistake number 2) and THEN verbally ask for a dance (mistake number 3), and expect to get it! You ask her with your eyes! Also avoid the “Stalker Cabeceo”, which is essentially walking up to said follower, stopping about 5 ft from her AND THEN Cabeceo’ing her. Poor form and lacks finesse.
3.) Brush Your Teeth! Wash Your Hands! Wear CLEAN Clothes! Take a Shower BEFORE you get to the Milonga…and I mean RIGHT before you go to the milonga. Nobody likes excessive amounts of BO or Perfume or Cologne. So go easy on all three! Note: For those men that tend to perspire a bit more than most, here’s a helpful hint: BRING AN EXTRA SHIRT! Think sweat, then think sweat all over her…eeeeeeeewwwwwww!
4.) Two tandas at most! No more than that in a row. Especially if you live in a small town.
5.) Dance with EVERYONE, no matter how good you think you are…or that you’re better than anyone else. Dance with everyone, and like it! Snobbiness does not build community.
6.) SMILE.
7.) Do NOT ‘Babysit’, a follower. This means that if she rejects you for a dance, you do not immediately sit down right next to her and wait for her to say “YES”. When a follower says, “NO”, you say “Thank you, perhaps later on then…” and turn on your heel and walk away. Later on in this case is SIX MONTHS. I’m not kidding. You wait, and you wait, and you wait some more for that particular follower to come around. But understand this…NO means NO.
8.) Learn how to navigate a social dance floor. You keep in the outer track at all times, however, you ask (with your eyes) the oncoming lead if you may enter the line of dance ahead of him. If you bump into another couple, regardless if it was your fault or theirs, you apologize for it, period…no “if’s”, “and’s”, or “but’s” about it. Follow the LANE, LINE and PROGRESSION of dance at all times, do not lag and do not tailgate, this is part of the science of ‘floorcraft’. At the same time, you must recognize that huge moves on a tiny dance floor don’t fly. They don’t. Be aware of your surroundings at all times. Keep your movements conservative at all times, nothing flashy unless you have room for it. If you throw a boleo, throw it where you have lots of space or to the outside track. Never throw boleos in the line of dance. Its not your follower who’s going to get blamed for a boleo my friend…its YOU!
8.) Take responsibility for everything that your follower does. Never blame her. Never take credit. Taking responsibility means that you are the one that asked her to do those things, therefore you are responsible. However, how she did those things is up to her, that’s hers. The simple fact is that most leaders blame their followers. Don’t do that. Instead take responsibility for what she does, so that when something goes wrong…what you should say to yourself is, “Hmmmm How could I lead that better next time?”. Read Point #9 and stick to it RELIGIOUSLY!
9.) Do not lead the same vocabulary over and over and over again, This is NOT fun. Its repetitive and moronic. What makes it moronic, is not just that its repetitive, its that it is more than likely very unmusical. She is not a play thing for your vocabulary experiments. if your follower doesn’t get what you’re leading then LET IT GO. Don’t do it again and again until she gets it. The fact is that she’s NOT understanding your lead, drop it. Go home, practice, practice some more, get feedback at a practica, and then… practice some more. And when you’ve finally practiced this thing to death for a month or two religiously, and I do mean RELIGIOUSLY, then late at night when you are with a follower that you trust, then and only then pull out that move, ok ? Oh and about HER submitting to YOUR stellar lead…give it up man, this is a conversation, not game of control! If you’re doing your job correctly, then you want to gently, and I do mean GENTLY encourage, cajole, entice, suggest, ask her to dance with you at all points along the curve of the dance together. And whomever told you that you’re supposed to control her, should be shot and hung!
10.) The Flashy Move! Do not go to a workshop, pick up some flashy move and expect to pull it off immediately. You won’t. The only way that that will be true, is if your name is Homer Ladas. Is your name Homer ? (Apologies to Homer) I think not. Instead, here’s the right thing to do. Go home and practice, then practice, then practice some more. And we’re not talking for an hour or two once a week, you practice every day for a month. You practice not just the flashy move, but the underlaying technique involved…more than likely you’ll see that its related to one of two things, walking or disassociation or a combination of both. In short, practice, practice, practice, practice, practice, and did I mention practice ? Now for the kicker, use of the flashy move…ONCE IN A BLUE MOON! That’s it, that’s all. The staple of your dance should be walking her, ochos, and the molenete. Nothing more fancy than that. Spice up your dance with a flashy move ONCE IN A BLUE MOON, just not every 5 seconds…ok ?
11.) If she’s taken off her shoes….this is a signal that she’s DONE for the night gentlemen. Sometimes, it means that she needs a break from walking backwards all night long and in heels. Let’s face it gents, that shit is hard work. Give it a rest and ask her another night. Do not go up to her and beg with puppy dog eyes, or verbally cajole her into dancing with her. That’s poor form. Do however go and sit next to her and tell her how much you’d like to dance with her later when her feet aren’t hurting, bid her good night, and then leave it at that.
12.) Saying “Thank You”. When you are finished with a tanda, and you’d like to stop, say ‘Thank you’ to your follower dancer and ESCORT her to her table, or where you found her.
13.) Getting “Thank You’d”. If its in the middle of a tanda, you my friend are in need of some private lessons, ASAP. Let me give you a small piece of advice: If she says ‘thank you’ in the middle of the tanda or worse in the middle of song, or worse than that stops altogether and says nothing and walks off the floor…trust me when I say that you my friend have some nasty shit goin on, and she’s given you at the very least in her mind 3 chances to clean up your act, and you clearly were NOT listening. I bet you’re listening now though. a.) do not argue with her, or try to convince her of her decision. b.) you may engage her AFTER the milonga to inquire as to what happened, but do it as to asking questions to further your understanding of what happened, not to correct it with her at all. and finally c.) breathe, it will get better with time, and after more than a few private lessons to fix your little tango problem. Lastly, here is the advice that she’s just given you, get some private lessons from a professional, not a hack, or the follower that you’ve been practicing with for ages. Trust me, when I say that you need professional help and that follower that just dumped you on the dance floor has just done you a major favor. Lick your wounds and then go find a private lesson ASAP!
14.) You have eyes, use them! Which is to say that be aware of where you are dancing your partner. This also applies to HOW you are dancing your partner, but really the WHERE part. By that I mean be aware of where your partners feet are at all times, and whether or not they’ll step on someone else’s feet. See your partners next step already completed. Don’t dance behind the couple directly in front of you, dance several couples ahead of them. Keep an even and steady pace, ground around the rotunda, and at the same time, give and create space between you and the people you are dancing around and with. And in crowded spaces, remember that you have to keep your vocabulary choices very small and musical!
15.) Now go Read the points for the Follower.